Today my heart swings

The answer to this is kind of complicated. Firstly, I do 100%, undoubtedly believe in God. But I guess I used to be much more religious than I am now.

Up until about 2 years ago I had never drunk alcohol, I would never go out partying, I would never kiss boys, always dress modestly etc. But then over time I found that that was really isolating for me from my friends. Because I went to school in a very “white” area, not many of my friends had the same beliefs as me so when I chose to spend Friday nights at home instead of going to that 18th birthday party or that uni pub crawl, I was probably seen as being weird, or maybe even thinking I was above those things.

So for a large portion of my life, when my friends had started discovering boys, and alchohol, and partying, I was really lonely and sort of miserable because I felt that I had to isolate myself from that. Like, when I say that I was sad, I consistently sad for at least 4 years of my life before getting into medicine.

Anyway it’s a long story but now I do do things which are strictly against my religion but I’m so much happier now and I’ve made these amazing friends just by putting in a bit of effort to fit in. And having fun, and socializing comes so much easier after you’ve had a drink or two, obviously. I guess it’s pretty selfish of me to sacrifice my religious beliefs just to be more social…

But I’m still a spiritual person, and I still follow some of the rituals of my religion, and I’d like to think that I’m still a good and caring person. So, yes, I am religious.